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Today I would like Titchynob to die by swallowing a bee that stings him in the stomach causing a fatal allergic reaction before flying back out unharmed.
You’ve asked Goddessdeeva to come up with inventive ways to kill Rob Titchyknob? I’ll put the kettle on, this is going to take a while….
Today I would like Titchynob to die from consumption. Not proper cough your guts up consumption but the crap kind that heroines would get on pirate ships on old black and white films. You know the *slight cough* I fear I’m dying from consumption *slight cough* type and that way he can annoy himself while he dies.
Today I would like Titchyknob to die from being the sole survivor of a shipwreck to get a dinghy (the others got airlifted) having eaten some REALLY bad shrimp so not only does he die of malnutrition but does so surrounded by his own effluent.
(note: Please don’t analyse me Witherspoon!)
Today I want Titchynob to die by tripping on one of Henry’s toys and falling down the stairs, breaking his neck as he lands while George Grundy stands at the bottom of the stairs holding a voodoo doll in with a pin through it’s neck.
Think we need an update, Dee!
I am going with – he gets a job at the local Lidl and has a pallet of tins of tuna fall in his bonce. The juices of the broken cans dribbling over his smarmy face as he draws his last breath.
How about he dies like this… Rob takes Helen’s book from her but sustains a paper cut. The next day he eats salt and vinegar crisps while driving gets distracted at the stinging and crashes into a culvert where he bleeds out slowly while the rotting corpse of Stephan death grins at him.
Whatever the cause of his – I hope – very long drawn-out death, let the last words he hears be from Helen:
“Oh Rob, poor, poor you!”
as she hovers uselessly over him, wringing her hands. She will have no phone of course as he had long ago told her she didn’t need one since she never left the house without him.
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