Exactly two years after the death of her benefactor Daddy Jack Wooley, a miserable, mean-spirited old cow named Hazel McScrooge is working in her office. She loves money, but hates almost everything else, including (but not limited to): Happiness Fun Love Freedom Family the Human Race in general Poor people in particular Acts of generosity Village shops Calendars Girls ‘Calendar Girls’ Christmas, and Puppies One particularly frigid Christmas Eve, Peggy reluctantly phones to invite Hazel over to Christmas dinner the next day; Hazel yells a tirade of abuse at her and frostily refuses the invitation (rather to Peggy’s relief). When […]

Round at the Aldridge’s, Invalid David’s broken arm has transmogrified him into Mr Bean. It is nothing short of a miracle that the door of Brian’s drinks cabinet doesn’t fall from it’s Lillian-weakened hinges right onto his head. With hilarious consequences. At least Brian appreciates Ruth’s value to the Brookfield herd. Really very appreciative in fact… like, Siobhan-level appreciative. Danger, Will Robinson; nobody wants to hear a Brian/Ruth affair in 2016. At the Touch Rugby tournament, Toby’s leery, thigh-rubbing, tongue-lolling letchery at Pip continues to cause involuntary dry-heaving in the listening audience. The event is a massive marketing success, managing […]

Proposal for new “Ambridge Extra” drama: PC Burns is calling the forensics team into the break-in at Grange Farm… Scene: The previously slightly-chintzy living room of Grange Farm is now in a state of turmoil – Sofa cushions lie torn and strewn about. Knick-knacks are broken. There is a slightly unfaded rectangle of wallpaper where a large flatscreen TV has been forcibly removed. In one corner, a would-be Bansky has had a go at leaving the homeowners an original work by way of recompense; it isn’t very good. Two plummy ladies in their late sixties enter. They are dressed – […]

Hoorah! I thought this was a cracking week in Ambridge – a sense that nearly all the current storylines made some real progress, combined with some great, subtle acting. (Apart from Joe’s Ghost Walk, naturally!) Such Ambridge bitchiness over Auntie Cardboard’s cooking skills. Christine & Ruth should form a “Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook” support group. Can Adam & Charlie just get on and have their awkard one-night stand,  NEVER to be spoken of again (like when he slept with that Polish picker). Adam might think that he is simply being a good friend to Charlie in his time of need, […]

So I’m well behind on my listening this week, so rather than reflect on the Omnibus, I thought I’d reflect on Roifield & Lucy’s reflections on the Omnibus instead! The Wurzels must’ve earned more royalties from “The Archers” this year than the whole of the rest of the BBC put together. I could barely listen to Adam & Charlie in the House-warming episode. The prospect of an emotionally bereft Charlie “staying over” at Honeysuckle Cottage after a boozy party whilst Ian was “at work” was just too excruciating for words. Thank goodness Charlie killed the romantic mood with mention of […]