Monologue 19 June 2017

It was patronise a townie day in Ambridge, or Open Farm Sunday, as we call it. These are cows. You might have seen them when you are driving along the motorway, said David bewilderingly. Who grazes cattle on the hard shoulder? Anyway…when you’re driving along to the funny little places where you people live in your funny little cars, we’re out doing a proper job, he said. It all went very well, and they all went to the pub afterwards, except Pip, who decided to stay behind and do the milking then lick the silage clamp clean. Everyone at Bridge […]


DTD: 172 – Pip and Rex are discussed along with Freddie’s lack of brains

This week Naked Fingers (aka Robert Wilson) is sharing host duties with Lucy. A brief profile of Naked Fingers.  He is 46, lives in or near Oxford, may have left wing tendencies, has not lived with anyone for 20 years but has dabbled in polytunnels and he had a hot date possibly with another DumTeeDummer later the same evening.  He also seems very knowledgeable on recreational drug use, although he did not drink until he was 21; Lucy equates this to Roifield listening to Radio 4.  He knows a beautiful EHO lady apparently.  Naked Fingers is 3st lighter and is […]


Monologue 12 June 2017

Apparently haymaking at Brookfield was so relaxed they could all stop and eat Scotch eggs and point at birds. Hooty couldn’t join them as her bees had swarmed. I think that might be a euphemism for “gone a bit potty”. They said ‘her bees have swarmed’ in the same way that people say “she’s a bit of a character” that means she wears her pants on her head and eats Tippex. Lilian has started referring to Helen as a mole. Really? I think of her as more of a gerbil, personally. Mind you, as Lilian is currently washing in the […]


DTD: 171 – Love for Lilly, understanding for Toby and more Archers chat!

Lucy is back from Hawes and delivered an outstanding review of the week in Ambridge, which in tribute to the late Ziggy Boneman included a reference to FFS.  Roifield makes an impassioned plea for new DumTeeDums – please send them in.  Lucy does a mean Vicky Pollard, but having been in Yorkshire she should have been channelling Eric Pollard (soap cross pollination there!). GoddessDeeva returns from the bottom of a bucket to tell Lilian that she needs to stop making an idiot of herself.  But Justin has history and Anthea will put a stop to that.  Andrew Horn raises his […]


Monologue 5 June 2017

Tom’s still banging on about fermented foods. Nope, I’m sorry, you can call it kefir and kimchee all you like, but fermented food is still compost. Lilian had a fantastic time leaping around in a leather catsuit pretending to be Purdey from the Avengers with the speed gun. Gemma Hawkins and Leroy were both caught going too slow but that’s because they caught sight of Lilian and drove into the hedge. Apparently we are now calling Open Farm Sunday OFS. Or Fun Farm Sunday, which is FFS. Much more approrpriate. Freddie had a bad algebra test. It wasn’t the equations […]


DTD: 170 – Shambridges on Prosecco, Pip, Gin and Lillian

With Lucy taking a no-doubt well deserved holiday Shambridges, Harriet Carmichael, takes the second hot seat whilst the Newcastle meet up provides the Geordie DumTeeDum at the top of the show.  A mention for our sponsor who have an attractive website explaining what they do (and I have not mentioned them recently). Lucy’s summary of the week is replaced by a wonderful Shambridges visitation with Lizzie wanting Rob back in the village, the irritating Lilly whines on about Pip’s whining, Pip sounding 45 and droning on, Ruaridgh has a new accent and is off to Roumania – and Roifield said he preferred […]


Character Statistics for May 2017

Appearances during May 2017 1 PIP ARCHER 14 2 Lilian Bellamy 10 3 Brian Aldridge 9 4 David Archer 8 = Justin Elliott 8 = Toby Fairbrother 8 7 Jennifer Aldridge 7 8 Ruth Archer 6 = Rex Fairbrother 6 = Adam Macy 6 = Lily Pargetter 6 12 Jolene Archer 5 = Eddie Grundy 5 = Anisha Jayakoday 5 15 Kenton Archer 4 = Harrison Burns 4 = Alice Carter 4 = Shula Hebden Lloyd 4 = Kirsty Miller 4 = Lynda Snell 4 21 Neil Carter 3 = Matt Crawford 3 = Joe Grundy 3 = Alistair Lloyd […]


DTD: 169 – Lillian, Miranda, Rex and Lilly feature on this weeks show

Our hosts reflect on what was generally a good week for The Archers.  Miranda and Justin splitting up the assets and then Miranda and Lilian having a face off at the Dower House.  Of course Hilda Ogden arriving had a new slashing arrival whilst this week’s map was about Ambridge.  You have to listen to the end of the podcast for the best bit of the week however! Much other ground covered plus some new callers, which is always welcome.  Go and help ginger up the forum on the website – far more interesting than it was. Great plot prediction […]