Dealing with the grief of cancer diagnosis

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  • #1677
    Aunty JeanAunty Jean
    Participant

    http://ow.ly/RVdem

    If you get a chance and cancer affects your life read this. It resonates very deeply with me – especially the bit about the grief for a life you no longer have and the bit about the caregiver as that is what I am

    Don’t know why I’m posting really. Just feel it more sometimes.

    Thank you the dum tee dum family. You’ve all helped me through some rough patches, especially Roifield, Lucy, Harriet and all with the mad chaotic world that is the podcast!

    Right. Stiff upper lip back in place.

    #1678
    Alison JonesAlison Jones
    Participant

    I’m just about to go on this journey for the second time, so it’s a stiff upper lip for me too.

    #1680
    Aunty JeanAunty Jean
    Participant

    Big hugs! If you need to chat I’m @jean61 on the twitters.

    Have you used Macmillan cancer UK yet? We’ve found them brilliant.

    Let me know how you go. Xx

    #1681
    Alison JonesAlison Jones
    Participant

    Thank you Jean. I did speak to Macmillan last time and they were excellent. Very fortunately because I am on the breast cancer surveillance programme it has been diagnosed early so I hope the treatment will be easier than last time. Big hug to you too as a carer x

    #1894
    Tracy ChevinTracy Chevin
    Participant

    Hi

    I too am in a position of being a care giver, my husband has terminal cancer. He’s had cancer for 4 years now, and it takes some resolve to deal with it. I’ve had many down periods, currently going through one. Not being able to plan a life with the person you intended to do so with and trying to deal with day to day stuff does take its toll.

    I hope you manage your situation in the best way possible, one day at a time.x

    #1896
    Aunty JeanAunty Jean
    Participant

    Big hugs Tracey.

    I struggled on, stiff upper lip style for months after my husbands diagnosis. He too is terminal with a rare lymphoma.

    But here’s the thing. After a bit I thought – hold on a sec, what about me!- anyway off to the GP I went. Now I have a good GP actually a GREAT GP and she recognised how much I was struggling and how much I needed help. So she gave me anti-depressants. Which of course I didn’t want. I mean you could get addicted! What would people say!

    She carefully talked me through it. And I started to take them and although it took 3 months or so I started to feel better. Able to cope. And sod it! It doesn’t matter what people think. They’re not the ones trying to live with this…..thing.

    The other thing I’ve learned to do is to treat the husband as I would normally. That sounds daft but I spend ages treating him with kid gloves careful not to upset him or let him do anything that might set him back. Well. Sod that too!

    Have a normal relationship. Shout if you need too. I do! (It’s generally- do the bloody washing up please! Or similar). Don’t be frightened to be normal.

    Anyway. You probably know all this. And if you haven’t got the support of Macmillan cancer yet do. They’re brilliant.

    Jean

    #2140
    Alison JonesAlison Jones
    Participant

    I have some good news, I have had my surgery and I don’t have to have any more treatment, the breast cancer cells were contained and hadn’t spread. So relieved given that this is the second time I have had breast cancer and my previous treatment was more extensive.

    #2141
    Aunty JeanAunty Jean
    Participant

    Hurrah! Well done and phew!

    ??????????? have one of these ?

    #2145
    Roifield BrownRoifield Brown
    Keymaster

    Well done Alison, all the best from Dumteedum!

    #3259
    Tracy ChevinTracy Chevin
    Participant

    Hi fellow dumteedumers.
    As I reported back in September that my husband had terminal cancer. Unfortunately, we are now in the only weeks left stage. As always he’s been an absolutely amazing man, we’re dealing with all the ‘need to do’ things now. It’s a tough time, but still manage to get the most out of life that we possibly can. He’s also been listening in and was so excited that I sponsored the show that had the biggest story on it! He also comments about articles in the paper and says… That sounds like a dumteedumer!.

    Listening in each week is a highlight. I’ve still got a couple of half marathons and full marathon to complete for the Cancer unit in Stoke. I decided that i needed to do a challenge to put me out of my comfort zone.

    Thanks so much to Sarah Passingham for her kind donation.

    Keep up the fab work Roifield and Lucy and everyone else who contributes…. Gives me a right good giggle, especially needed xx

    Tracy x

    #3270
    Sarah PassinghamSarah Passingham
    Participant

    You’re most welcome, Tracy, although a donation seems a very small response to the distressing time that you and your family are going through. I do hope you and Aunty Jean and others in similar straights have good support. My friend (in whose memory I made the donation) had a fantastic team managing his care, and also the emotional health of his wife of only 6 months. He had his last weeks at home and, strangely, it was an enriching experience because of all the support and love that abounded, and his attitude has taught me not to be afraid when my turn comes. Would that everyone could have the same. Finally, wonderful news, Alison. Wishing strength and courage to all. Sarah Passingham as Sarahsarie.

    #3329
    Tracy ChevinTracy Chevin
    Participant

    Thanks also to Roifield and Auntie Jean for your kind donations. Very much appreciated.
    Andrew has had me playing the advert to his family, he’s super proud to be going down in the archives of dumteedum. xx

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