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Blithe Spirit has the right idea about disposing of Ruth!
Imagine – it’s not enough for her to go to see her GP or see a counsellor and get a bit of bereavement counselling, or contact Relate about her marriage or any of the crisis charities that deal with women. No, she’s got to leave the country and go as far away as is possible geographically. It seems very clear she wants to distance herself from her family. This is odd.
She was an only child and her parents are no longer living – but she is also a mother to two sons who are not yet adults (one of whom the scriptwriters made a big song and dance about being particularly fond of his late grandmother). The scriptwriters have ducked the challenge of writing sympathetically about coping with elderly care for a start by killing Heather off – and then, compounded it by not dealing sympathetically with the grief of losing a parent and the impact on a middle aged woman who’s already in a personal crisis by creating an unlikeable character in Ruth and then having her simply choose to run off.
For all her criticism of David, he’s never acted this selfishly. This is nonsense.
Most of us can ill afford to fly off to New Zealand for an indefinite, extended holiday or a sabbatical when we’re employed and in work much less self-employed or in a family business. And in a slightly precarious sector like dairy farming?!
She should just be honest and come out with it: “It’s not just losing my mum – I’ve completely lost my identity and I don’t seem to know who I am and what my purpose is.” This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s a stage she has to work through. Her role in the life of the family and on the farm has changed. Going to New Zealand isn’t the answer.
It’s weird how travel is used as some sort of therapy when all is does in essence is change the scenery and force you to interact with complete strangers and eat different food. Obviously, travel can be an amazing experience but Ruth doesn’t have to travel so far to get the benefit of time alone and self-discovery. It’s symbolic that she’s choosing to separate herself and create such a huge distance between herself and her family. She wants to be far from them and she wants to be inaccessible to them, too. However, when she comes back it’s hardly likely that she’ll return to an idyllic home life once she’s left her family in an emotional turmoil.
I can’t imagine where this decision came from. It’s like a petulant teenager’s rebellion.
(And in my head, there are echoes of Kenny Rogers’s recording of “Lucille”!)
Anyway, I reckon she’s better off paying privately and spending her money on going to some kind of clinic.
Or going to a spa! Or letting Kate realign her chakras …
I have a friend who is an alcoholic – sober a long time now, but having really learned and absorbed the lessons. He tells me that, in AA parlance, this is called ‘doing a geographical’ – thinking that a change of environment will solve your problems. Of course, they follow you wherever you go. Ruth and David’s marriage seems, in my limited experience, to be blighted by this total inability to communicate about anything that matters. Maybe that’s what happens when you don’t only have kids but also a business to focus on. However, doesn’t seem like it’ll get sorted out with her 10+ thousand miles away.
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