Which relationship would you prefer to be trapped in: Jolene & Kenton’s, or Helen & Rob’s?
Both are relationships under stress – one from mental health issues, the other from domestic abuse. Kenton’s middle name might be ‘Hubris’, but with the proper support from his wife and (when he’s prepared to accept it) his extended family, some counselling and debt advice and possibly some medical intervention, Kenton will be back to his old self in a few months.
Rob, however, is being his ‘normal’ self. I think that flash of anger we saw this week is his default personality, and it won’t be long before we see him hitting Helen or – in my opinion more likely – Henry. That’ll put Helen in a quandry: who does she stand by – her son or the love of her life? I hope she’s strong enough to deal with the consequences.
Jill’s wish about her hoping that David and Kenton making up at the Shula/Kenton non-event of the year was especially heartfelt. And repeated by Every. Sodding. Listener.
Exactly what is glitzy about the glitzy chocolate puddings? (Or did I mishear?)
So Ben has a crush on a girl, eh? At thirteen, surely he’ll already be enveloped in a chemical weapons-grade cloud of Lynx deodorant that’ll be detectable from Prudhoe.
Exactly what has Rob been doing to the insemination figures? And exactly how do you fudge them? Surely it’s pretty easy to know precisely how many calves have been born – it’s just counting. Is Charlie trying to test the cattle for traces of Titchener DNA? How are Rob’s plans for World domination (or at least Borsetshire-domination) aided by having semi-bovine Titchener clones running around?
Lynda’s (with a Y) jealousy of Jennifer and sniffy snobbery over Susan’s shop name badges and revolting tabbards were much needed moments of levity this week. Orange & Pink gingham – what was Susan thinking?
Helen may be being emotionally abused, but she remains irritatingly self-absorbed. Of course your rabidly feminist mother is going to be surprised and horrified by your self-abasement to your horrible, overbearing husband. Don’t act all surprised about it. And please stop nudge-nudge-wink-winking about your stomach-churningly vigorous sex life to anyone who will listen.
Now, I’m no planning expert, but I imagine that planning permission to remove a vital village service like the shop / post office would be slapped right down by the council.
If the BBC want to make a fundraising item for “Children in Need” this year, “Ian’s Bumper Book of Immoral Puddings” could be a big seller! Brian’s Affair-y Cakes, perhaps?
A “balsamic vinegar and strawberry emergency”? You might steep the berries in the vinegar, or perhaps drizzle it over them. Exactly what about that particular recipe needs the immediate personal attention of the Head Chef? Are Gay Grables employing chimpanzees as sous-chefs?
The Ambridge WI “celebration” meal sounds quite repulsive. No “Great British Menu” winners there, I can assure you. I can hear Oliver Peyton’s lip curling at the mere thought of it. Even Matthew Fort might turn his nose up at Fish Sausage. (Come to think of it, he’d probably still eat it.)
(Also come to think of it, perhaps Fish Sausage is what Helen calls Rob’s titchy nob…)
Rob popping home at lunchtime for an omlette and a knee-trembler is this weeks unsavoury mental image. Thanks for that.
Plot-prediction: Despite all the sentimental guff from David this week, Pip will go away to Brazil. In her absence, Toby will pine for her, but she will return after a year with an exotic new Brazillian gaucho boyfriend called Javier.
Wait a cotton-picking minute… The Flood has done wonders for the beautiful top soil at Ambridge Hall, has it? So what the flippin’ heck was all the fuss about the dreadful soil condition at Home Farm? If Mother Nature bounces back so wonderfully, why bother with all the herbal lay nonsense?
Toby and Kenton? Borsetshire’s least likely drinking mates? Kenton must be double the younger Fairbretheren’s age. One word, Toby – Friends don’t let friends run away to sea (again).
Bad acting alert: Toby Fairbretheren. Oh God. There’s Kenton emoting his heart out about the futility of his miserable existance, and Toby responds with all the sympathetic interaction of a concrete breeze-block. And the cringeworthy flirting between Pip and Toby makes me want to digest my own pancreas. There must be something in the Geneva Convention to limit our exposure to such life-limiting bad acting. Please, make it stop.
Good acting alert: The scenes with Ed and Tony were especially heart-warming. I’m not always a great fan of Ed, but this week he was on sparkling form. My highlight of the week.
Ruth is in a quandry, but she needs to man up and address Heather-Pet head on, and stop getting so het up. Seems to me that Heather has capacity to make decisions about her own care – even if the decisions aren’t sensible. Many old people make decisions using the logic of “I don’t want to be a nuisance”, so demanding that Ruth schlep up and down the motorway at the drop of a hat is being very demanding. I think Ruth’s right – they should bring Heather down to Ambridge, but place her in The Laurels. She’ll see all the family including her grandchildren regularly, can still join in family events whilst enjoying the support of a nursing team. Time to present Heather-Pet with some stark choices, I’m afraid.
