Susan fires the first shot over the shop. A single bullet to Hazel’s left temple with Neil’s laser-sighted air rifle, no doubt. (And now I want the “Susan Carter: Borsetshire Rogue Assassin” miniseries more than anything. Where did Archer’s Extra get to when you really need it?)
RUTH: “Daaavid… How come you’re happy to talk about anything and everything this morning, EXCEPT what’s happening to me Mother?” DAVID: “Errr… because I’m a bloke. Not talking about it – EVER – is how we handle stuff like this.”
Have I got this right? Currently living in Brookfield are: David, Ruth, Pip, Josh, Ben, Jill, Bert, a couple of squatting Fairbretheren and 250 goslings. Does it have more rooms that the TARDIS?
What a shame we didn’t have an all-Italian episode chez Oliver & Caroline. Would love to have been a Mosca sulla parete for that dinner party.
The Ghost of Mr Pullen brings down the village hall… in protest about closed pubic bogs?
I’m finding it quite hard to know who to believe about Berrow Farm’s figures, largely since both of the participants are so utterly hateful.
Who will be the calm voice of reason when Pip buggers off to Brazil? It’s a bit rich of David saying that he wants to try to separate out the emotional elements from the decision about Heather-Pet’s move to Brookfield when emotion for his own mother is fuelling his own opinions. And that’s not wrong; this is one time when dispassionate reason isn’t the only consideration.
A rude word lipsticked on the Penny Hasset hall tea urn by the Brownies? Breaking News: Tilly Button is Banksy.
Lynda and Lillian debating Mungo’s upbringing is always a delight. An excellent double act – now I want a “Parenting with Lynda & Lillian” programme to follow on from the tales of Susan’s murderous killing sprees on Radio 4 Extra.
Rob “doesn’t expect everyone to like him”. Which is probably just as well.
And speaking of hateful characters, let’s give a hearty “BOO” for the return of Hazel Wooley. Alongside the plague of “Young Male Actors Who All Sound The Same”, is Ambridge becoming inundated by Panto Villains?
Rob wants to decorate the Bridge Farm shop with bright white walls, no clutter, and all modern facilities. Just like – say – the robotic parlour of a Massive Mega-Dairy?
“The Looks of Kate Aldridge”: The “Why Does The World Never Understand Me”, The strange new “Serious Face of Convenient Chat”, The “Simpson’s Overbite” and The “Constipated Frog”. Why not collect the set!
Deantlering stags is my best new excuse for getting out of… well, pretty much anything!
Although I’m note sure which is more dangerous – the risk of getting gored by a raging antlered-up stag or putting in a phone call to Martin Gibson.
Kenton finally has what might pass as a starting discussion with Jolene and the Heather-Pet debacle lumbers towards a moderately sensible outcome. About blooming time!
