Roifield has not done this 249 times before (honestly) so he gets off to a completely false start this week forgetting to play the DumTeeDum or the copyright notice before setting light to the weekly fireworks. Eventually he gets it all together! Then Lucy goes off with a big bang as she covers the week in Ambridge and in a display worthy of any Catherine Wheel she spins round the Ambridge stories of the week. None of the jokes sputter out uselessly unlike the fireworks I used to buy. She delivers a real sparkler of a review ending with an explanation of why rural pubs close if they are managed like The Bull.
There were not many bangs in Ambridge this week as Lexi returned with little interest in Roy, Hannah withdrew benefits and Neil could not cope with a chili due to his bad back flaring up; meanwhile Natasha has not been getting any either as her 10 year relationship had broken up but hinting she might be ready for a cormorant soon.
However over at Lower Loxley it was a different matter as Lizzie had taken up banging her head on the desk for some light relief and Geraldine suddenly found a voice and used it to deliver a rocket up Lizzie’s backside when she resigned for being told to go on the wireless (I thought she was on it anyway). Ruairidh ought to have been shot high up in the sky but got away very lightly. At least Natasha sounds distinctive, but then so did Pat back in the day. Tidy.
Then Roifield explains how the character identification works so that Lucy understands it. Millie Belle reports on the social media jumping jacks.
Kosmo
Derek got into trouble at Fireworks Night as he was lighting them, he caught a glimpse of Aunty Cardboad’s enormous bangers and everything went off too soon.
On this week’s show we have calls from Emma, Mary, Julie and Andrew.
