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I can’t stand it! Pat has had a total personality change! How can this intelligent woman with feminist credentials be so blind as to what is going on in her daughter’s life. Not only is she unhelpful but she is actively enabling Tichynob to manipulate Helen. As I have said before even just before the flood she was still wary of Rob. She questioned if leaving the shop was really Helen’s idea. At that time she was friendly enough to his face but maintained some doubts. Now all doubts are gone apparently and she is Rob’s number one supporter, even when Helen hints that life may not be exactly as good as she has previously said.
Enough is enough! Pat, wake up and at least see what is going on!!!I agree, Ms Bubbles. Even my credulity is stretched. Previously, I had argued that Helen herself was largely responsible for Pat’s brainwashing, so insistent was she that her family accept Rob. Helen removed herself in a huff from Bridge Farm, remember, and threatened not to let her parents see much of Henry if they didn’t welcome Rob into the family. So no wonder they caved in.
But, as you say, enough is enough. The sheer panic in Helen’s voice when she begged Pat not to tell Rob about the accident … well, Pat, could it be spelled out any more clearly what is going on?
I am shouting “Yeah Tony” on Tuesday and nooohhhhh Pat on Thursday. You are right enough is enough, it’s upsetting the dog when I shout at the radio. For dogs sake, script writers, PaT would NEVER suggested Helen stop driving FFS ( For Ferrets sake )
But I am looking forward to what they will do for his inevitable downfall. Those dastardly Scritwriters!Of course you the dastardly (good word!) SW’s are making pat soooo annoying because when the ferrets hit the fan she have will have plenty of hand wringing to do. Really looking forward to that. Not.
I’m with Alison, and shouting at my podcast player, (luckily I’m walking through fields so only my dog and a few cows witnessing my outburst). Pat is suddenly fawning at Rob. I know that she’s probably so concerned about Helen, given her history, and wanting her to have a solid, supporting partner, that she may become a little blinded, but even in this state Pat would never, ever suggest or agree that Helen should stop driving. On a positive note at last Tony is standing up to Rob (sort of but for how long..).
I agree with the other comments about Pat’s seeming blindness to what’s happening to Helen. In addition to the examples quote by others, one other thing that has been bugging me about this whole issue goes back to the late summer and a cricket match which involved Rob and at which Tony was an umpire. Rob behaved like the real bully he is and was really abusive to the other side, to the extent where some of his own team asked him to scale it back. He even goaded Johnny to do the same. Now, Tony would have seen and heard all of this, as an umpire he would have been right next to the bowler or mid-way between the wickets a few yards back. Surely he would have been appalled and in reality as soon as he went home would have mentioned it to Pat, how he had seen another side of Rob etc. But nothing.
So, for Alison’s dog, my dog, cows in north Dorset and the rest of us, enough is enough, let’s have our Pat back!I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with the viewpoint that Pat would surely have sussed Rob by now; I find it very convincing that she hasn’t. Her initial suspicion of Rob has been replaced by an image of Rob as the perfect husband and surrogate father, as promoted by Rob himself and backed up by Helen, who hasn’t given her mother a single hint that anything is wrong. Pat hasn’t witnessed any instances of Rob’s controlling behaviour towards Helen; after the car accident, he was calm and reassuring, for example, not showing a single flash of anger about the damage to the car. It does seem a pity that Tony hasn’t told Pat about Rob’s unreasonable behaviour re. the tables, but I rather think that Tony’s the kind of man who’s not very perceptive about such nuances. As far as Rob’s behaviour at the cricket match is concerned, Tony as umpire was sure Rob hadn’t edged the ball (and this, indeed, is often not a clear-cut judgement that can be made in the game. In any case, just because a man gets cross on the sports field, it doesn’t automatically follow he must be abusing his wife!) I find the fact that Pat hasn’t picked up on anything, very true to life; people often do miss something that’s right in front of them, by being distracted by something else or believing what they want to believe, and Pat, of course, wants to see Helen settled and happy.
KatieKing, I posted similar views to yours a while back, making the point that Helen has been an emotional bully to her parents in the past and this is coming back to haunt her now but, as I said, my credulity is being stretched now.
Dramatically speaking, I think what we need are a few worried conversations between Pat and Tony or Tony and Tom (if Tom can be found) where they doubtfully try to reassure one another about Helen. We had a tiny hint of one a while back, when Helen returned all ‘radiant’ from the Isle of Wight. ‘As long as she’s happy …’ either Pat or Tony said, doubtfully. We need more of that sort of thing. Tiny seeds of doubt and some exchange of information. Pat, Tony, Tom, Adam, Kirsty … between them they knew quite a bit about Rob. This information blackout, where no one talks to anyone else about Rob except in favourable terms (with a very few exceptions) just isn’t convincing me any more.
I’m hoping this story-line is going to reach a crisis point around Christmas, and that bit by bit, some of those conversations might start happening. Kirsty and Ian are closest to the truth about Rob’s treatment of Helen, I think. However, it wouldn’t matter how many people sussed the truth if Helen continues to deny it; the ONLY person who can help Helen is Helen herself. And that, I think, is the main point of this plot.
it wouldn’t matter how many people sussed the truth if Helen continues to deny it; the ONLY person who can help Helen is Helen herself. And that, I think, is the main point of this plot
Just so, Katie. That’s why I think it would work to have a series of worried conversations about Rob from Helen’s parents, brother and friends. It would add to the drama and add to the credibility so I can’t think why they don’t do it. It’s not a question of availability of the cast. Adam, Pat and even Tony have been heard from lately as well as Kirsty, though Ian seems to have gone silent.
I was also upset with Pat this week and I do address it in my next call. Did Pat’s reaction have as much to do about the mother-daughter relationship between Helen and her, as much as it had to do with Rob? Both Rob and Pat’s desires to “protect” “fragile” Helen are coalescing. But one would also think that after Tony’s interaction with Rob (and in light of his past observations of Rob at cricket matches) he would have shared concerns about Rob’s temper with Pat. To be continued…as they say.
I’m feeling a little sympathetic towards Pat: how easy it is to spot signs that Helen is a victim of psychological abuse?
If I were Pat, I might not have liked Rob and he might not have been my choice for my daughter, but what would make me start to think that he was dangerous and putting her at risk?
We can all see how Pat has gradually been taken in by Rob and has totally revised her initial opinion of him. However, I don’t think she’s seen any obvious clues about the reality of Helen’s situation. There’s a subtle reaction on Helen’s part in her conversations with Pat when there is mention of Rob and Helen’s behaviour when he is present with Pat seems to change. I believe she is starting to become more anxious and fretful about not upsetting him and not disagreeing with him over small things – and I think Pat has witnessed that.
But Helen tends to present as anxious and fretful anyway, so she’d have to ratchet it up to hysteria at the very mention of Rob’s name before anyone really notices a problem.
Cue much guilt and handwringing when the awful truth dawns on Pat and all concerned …
I know Helen pushed her parents into accepting Rob, and I know it is hard to spot when someone is being abused but what I don’t understand is why Pat was only reluctantly accepting of Rob just a few months ago and is now oblivious to the possibility of anything being wrong. What happened in between? I guess we have to accept that the wedding and Helen’s brief period of marital joy (and sharing much too much about their life together) was enough to make Pat satisfied for ever after that Rob is a good guy.
Perhaps it is as simple as Pat is desperate for Helen to be happy, and this is blinding her to things she would usually have spotted? I have a feeling that Tony is going to be the one who “rumbles” Rob; I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t something to do with this job Rob may have applied for; if Rob doesn’t take it, Tony won’t understand why, and this will raise his suspicions.
You may be right Glyn and I hope to see it. When Rob is “rumbled” (which will provide great pleasure for all) he will fight tooth and nail to keep his position. If he is ousted from the family he will be homeless, jobless and friendless. He will be worse off than the Grundys and he could not stand that! We know what lengths he goes to to win a cricket match. What will he do to keep his comfy lifestyle?
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