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Just to add: the language Rob uses to Pat about Helen, things like ‘we must be firm with her’ – it’s very infantilizing and ought to be making Pat bristle that her daughter is a grownup and should be able to decide for herself whether she should stay in bed or not. Of course, Helen is reinforcing this treatment by both Rob and Pat by acting like a child who tearfully protests she is well enough to get up when she clearly isn’t.
I can’t remember how ill Helen got with her pre-eclampsia when she had Henry. I was still a fairly casual listener there. But I seem to recall her being pretty bad. Could be that left its mark on Pat and she’s fearful of it happening again, so has become overprotective now Helen is pregnant again?
< I don’t think so either, but it was an odd phrase to hurl at her and not have her deny it. ‘One fling, Rob, because my heart was broken!’, you’d think she’d have said at the very least. During that conversation, she was doing her best to explain to him why she had been so convinced the child was his so you’d think that she would at least deny that it was ‘one of her’ alcohol-fueled one night stands as if that were her habit. >
I agree. The accusation was thrown and not denied at all, in fact IIRC, pretty much admitted.
That absolutely made no sense to me. There was certainly no early hints about that, or if there were I certainly missed them, and it didn’t stack up with the nervous Jess preparing for the housewarming party, so I assumed it was part of the rethink.
And whilst it could go someway to explaining Rob’s controlling attitude to Helen’s party frocks, I cannot see that he would have stayed with Jess so long if she was consistently unfaithful. They clearly had an intense damaged co-dependence relationship somehow, (help Witherspoon?) and in a way probably with more equality of a sort than H & R, but the idea that Rob would repeatedly forgive and make up with an unfaithful nympho wife?
I don’t buy it. I think maybe they originally planned he would be the father and go back to her and had to change the plan.Yes, jenniferexile, I agree with all you say.
To be the devil’s advocate, the fatal words ‘one of your’ might just be sloppy writing that escaped the editor. Jess turned up slightly drunk on Valentine’s night at Blossom Hill Cottage, evidently expecting a reunion with Rob, a not unrealistic expectation since it subsequently turned out that they had indeed had sex the week before when he went to see her, lying about his whereabouts to Helen. I suppose therefore I might just accept that she had one drunken fling after returning home broken-hearted.
But it does sounds very much as though Rob was supposed to be Ethan’s father and they changed their minds to prolong the story.
By the way, where was Rob on Valentine’s Night when Jess and Helen had their confrontation? He faked a business meeting for the night he had sex with Jess, which was February 6, if I recall correctly, but where was he on February 14? A genuine business meeting that time? Or will a third woman show up producing a genuine Tichysprog?
Surely the main point is that we, the listeners, know that Rob was unfaithful to Helen with Jess, but Helen does not; Rob has successfully created a ‘bunny-boiling’ image of Jess that Helen has swallowed hook, line and sinker, thanks to the results of the DNA test. It simply hasn’t occurred to Helen that Jess might have had good reason to think that Rob was Ethan’s father; she thinks Jess was making a false accusation. It’s certainly a painful story-line—when WILL the scales fall from Helen’s eyes and how far will Rob go with his systematic coercive control? This will become a criminal offence very soon; I wonder if there will be a crisis point in the SL coinciding with the new legislation, followed by the announcement after the programme of a Helpline number?
I’ve rather neglected the forum over the festivities – thanks all for your contributions to this topic. It looks like resolution will not come anytime soon.
Thoughts on the current developments on Helen and Rob. I’m not convinced by it. Helen seems to have almost entirely stopped eating and apparently looks bad enough due to that and the stress of it all, that Kirsty sounded genuinely shocked at the sight of her.
Rob’s nasty remark at the wedding has apparently triggered it off, but I doubt that was planned in any way. He was probably just venting his frustration after his machinations didn’t result in the wedding not happening, so just lashed out verbally at Helen instead on impulse.
So far so good. Well, so evil. And if Helen wasn’t pregnant I’d buy it. But as Rob is so obsessed with his Little Prince (of Darkness) that she’s carrying, then why would he be allowing this to go on? She’s meant to be “eating for two” after all, and he must be able to see that she’s not eating enough for one and not exactly blooming. She could certainly develop problems with the pregnancy or her own health soon. And Helen might, at least unconsciously, be trying to make this happen. But Rob certainly doesn’t want that to happen.
When is someone besides Kirsty going to notice? Ian’s kind of blinded by his anger at the moment and not seeing her much. But why hasn’t Pat spotted that something is very wrong? I know Rob tries to keep Helen from seeing her friends and family too often, but that means they should spot the change in her. If you see someone every day you don’t always notice gradual changes in them. if you hardly ever see them then you notice it – as Kirsty did.
When is she next going to see a medical professional? How often does a pregnanct woman in the UK see her midwife or GP for routine checkups? How often when they have Helen’s medical history?
Ooh, found this page.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/antenatal-appointment-schedule.aspx
Is Helen attending all these appointments? Will an appointment be the place she finally cracks and ask for help? If so I hope it’s not one with that ditzy idiot midwife she had the first time.Yes, I really think that Pat should have some concerns by now. She has had numerous clues that Rob is a controlling git. She didn’t like Rob to begin with. For example, even if Rob had been perfectly innocent in his suggestion that Helen stop driving, I would have thought that Pat would register that this decision would remove a great deal of independence for Helen and she (Pat) keep an eye on how this is effecting her (Helen). But no. She doesn’t seem to care. Or just doesn’t think about it. And she does this over and over again, like she is in some sort of daze. Maybe we should all be concerned about Pat’s health as well.
What’s puzzling is that Rob, with his obsessive concern for ‘his son’ hasn’t noticed Helen’s pallor/thinness etc. and reflected on how this might impact on the unborn child. Is this because he lives in a delusional state of mind, I wonder? I really hope we get a medical crisis soon; the story line has become a little static.
Yes you would think that he would notice at least to use it against her eg “You don’t look well therefore you had better shut up and stay home more”
Don’t I remember a couple of weeks ago that Pat was gently asking Helen how she was and was she sure about that, and Helen saying she was ‘Fine!’ in that artificially bright way that says ‘this is as far as I want to talk about this’. You can make an argument for Pat persisting and pushing further but it must be difficult when a grown adult obviously doesn’t want to talk to you about something. Of course, it would be a bit more realistic for us to be hearing Pat talk to someone else – ‘I’m worried about Helen’ etc.
As the Granny of John VI I want to weigh in on Helen and Rob. Dreadful man and tense relationship. But rather than wanting Kirstey or Tom or Ian to save her, I wish she would make some moves to stand up to Rob and get out of her situation. She really has dug into a hole. She has some difficult times ahead.
This is somewhat off-the-wall, but … could Rob be a deeply-closeted, self-loathing homosexual? Could all of this behaviour be a way of proving to himself (and by extension others) that he’s a “real” man excelling at “manly” things: cricket, hunting, fathering sons, exhibiting violence, handling horses, etc. The blatant homophobia and belittling of Adam/Ian/Charlie is consistent with what little I know of the subject What about how he relates to Kirsty, Ursula and other women he can’t control – does that fit? Or am I overthinking this?
If you were to make a list of Rob’s various acts of evil, there’s one that almost seems a small thing, but I’d put in the top five at least. That’s not waking Helen to see Henry opening his Christmas presents. That was an exquisitely crafted piece of cruelty. It’s not something you can ever make up for. Helen can’t get that moment with her son back.
It’s one thing to miss your children opening their gifts if you’re stuck in hospital or something. Even if she’d been in bed ill, Rob could have waited until she was awake and taken Henry and his prezzies into the bedroom. But to be just not woken up for absolutely no good reason while Henry opens the gifts was pure nastiness.
Despite the theory that Rob is trying to induce Helen’s anorexia because of a narcissistic controlling personality (disorder), I find it difficult to comprehend why he would want to endanger “my son”. There would be plenty of time to tell her that she needs to lose weight once his precious heir is safely delivered.
Oh, hello, I’m Potty Dimley by the way.
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