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I’m sure Brookers has shrunk over the years. Bert’s in there somewhere possibly in the airing cupboard, Jill was in Pip’s room but is now living in grandeur at LL. pip is definitely sleeping in the dining room until she moves to Rickyard which no doubt has put paid to eating the TPB on the good dining room table.
Rickyard was being used for holiday lets until the flood and then was going to house Matthew the blink and you’ll miss him cow man. Pip will no doubt move both Fairbrethren in there with her so they don’t have to live a la tent or indeed somewhere we don’t know about.
Roof and Daveed have a room together God helps us and the boys are sharing.
So. As is
Bedroom 1) roof and Daveed
Bedroom 2) josh and Ben
Bedroom 3) Bert
Bedroom 4) Jill
Dining room) PipWill be
Rickyard) Pip plus fairbrethren?
Bed 1) roof and Daveed
Bed 2) josh and Ben
Bed 3) Bert
Bed4)??? Because Heatherpet will be downstairs surely since she supposedly can hardly move so how would they get her up and down all the time? Either in the living room or dining room. Is there a downstairs loo? Well she can use a commode in any case. Whilst counting the apples on the trees in the orchard.So bedroom 4 appears to be free again. Jill can come home and look after Heatherpet.
And in any case has anyone alerted the makers of oven chips that roof will soon be cooking again at Brookers? Cos if not I think someone should. They’ll need to get in extra supplies after all. And better alert the fire brigade too cos they’ll mostly be burnt oven chips.
Now all I’ve gotta do is house the cows, sheep and Tig and all will be well. Oh wait. I forgot about the bloody hens! And the bees!!
Start again….
No, Heatherpet is definitely going upstairs in the bedroom close to the bathroom (or possibly with the ensuite that was put in for Lizzie many years ago). She can gaze over the orchard from there. This was the subject of a long conversation between the dynamic duo.
It was soooo dynamic I’ve forgotten already!!
Well then. She’ll be like Mother Bates at the Bates Hotel. In the attic but never heard and only rarely glimpsed.
Ps Bert presumably is going back to the bungalow fairly soon so that still frees up a bedroom for Jill to come back?
And I can’t believe I’ve spent so much time today thinking about the sleeping arrangements of the dynamic duo, wor Heatherpet, promiscuous Pip, jealous Jill, poor old Bert and the now silent archer brothers.
I really do need to get a grip. And possibly a life.
Charlie Cat: agree with you entirely. Whither Jazzer? Where has he gone during the flood? Jim is with Shula while the cottage is being de-flooded, but where’s our Jazz?
Here’s a thought. If the Grundy’s are at Grime Gables so too should be jazzer, Katy and Jamie. Have they ever been mentioned?
This is hugely impressive, JR. I had forgotten all about Wor Roothie’s culinary staples of deep frorzern peezuh and ooovern chupzzz.
But, back on topic, how long are the two Archer lads doomed to share? Will yooong Ben be finding Joshee’s stash of porn secreted under the mattress? It is all deeply unpleasant just to think about. As I have no idea how old Josh is or where he is being educated, I can only speculate but, surely, a life as a cabin boy would be preferable to being incarcerated in a room that he has shared with his brother for most of his life.
In much the same way sheepdogs on the programme never seem to be mentioned apart from the one episode when it’s round-up time. Has the question, have you fed the dog ever been asked in the history of TA? If it has the answer was most likely, ‘Oh yes, in the summer of ’74’.
Ben’s three year cycle ride- he should we well into the Pyrenees by now- has at least freed up some much needed space in the Brookfield wendy house.
Never mind Squire. Shortly it will be “Have you fed the old bat upstairs I mean MeeMooothah?” before you can say peezah. To say nothing of “Have you emptied GrannieHeather’s pisspot?”
Do we know how much space there is in the attic by the way.Oh the attic is HUGE! They’ve all forgotten how huge of course the same way they all forgot about Rickyard.
You could fit all of route b up there and still have room for a van load of frozen chips and a fully functions pizza outlet.
And remember Jill cleared the attic out when the dynamic duo were going to bugger off to prudhoe.
So in theory they could all live in the attic and leave the house for Jill.
I’m not sure why we’re all discussing this. It has become clear to me that Heatherpet won’t last long on a diet of frozen chips (burnt) and unrecognisable pizza.
They’ll be begging for Jill to go back to do all the cooking.
Wasn’t it josh who went for a bike ride, nearly got crushed by Jill in her car and has never been allowed out since? So Ben will just keep going rather than be run over by Jill.
Sorry Mumbers am STILL getting no notification of replies. All the sheep dogs are up in the attic. Biff’s howls are drowned out by the wailing of WR and Jill.
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